It's all about growing up.
And I don't think we ever get fully grown.
It's always in retrospect that you see the changes in yourself. It's always in retrospect that you truly begin to understand the depth of your mistakes, or the immensity of your good fortune. Most of the time, its both.
It's rare for me to be able to notice the changes in myself as they occur. It feels although it is inappropriate for me to be watching myself grow up. I shouldn't be aware, I am too old for my age, I am tainting my memories by watching my life through two sets of eyes.
And yet, I find it impossible not to watch, and psychoanalyze myself at every minute. I am like my own personal sport's commentator, playing on the team, but also waiting with bated breath to see what will happen next.
So it surprises me when I catch myself discarding a trademark tactic for something foreign. It surprises me even more when the new actually seems better than the old.
It's becoming a trend though, new better than old. I can't say that I dislike it. This winter has proved to me that you can't always expect the things you know to be constant, and you shouldn't underestimate the joy of something temporary.
