I finally notice the millions of thoughtless moments in each day. The times when I just go through the motions, yanking on one stubborn pant leg after the other, absentmindedly groping through my bag for my phone, staring blankly upward as the elevator crawls noisily along. I have to remember to consciously make an effort to not think about it, not think about him, and especially not think about the past. With ninja like stealth, I slither around my own mind like a fugitive afraid of accidentally treading too loud or disturbing the temporary equilibrium. Apparently, my ninja skills are nonexistant though.
Inevitably the panic sets in. I panic at the thought of being without him. I panic because I'm convinced that noone else will ever compare, and I'll end up like Britney, shedding 48-hour husbands and drunken mistakes all over the place. EEK.
I shut down. I know I'm wasting precious calories but getting to 100 pounds seems like a surreal goal from years ago. I listen to Cascada and Muse and run. I keep going until I can't feel my legs. Or my iPod dies. Whichever happens first.
Location : Road No 4, Green Valley, Banjara Hills, Hyderabad, Andhra Pradesh,
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