Happiness is inversely proportional to the quality of my blogs.
The happier I am, the less inclined I am to feel the need to write about it. In fact, I treat happiness like a rare, fleeting thing and devour it as though each time is the very last and if I don't pack as much productivity into each happiness window, it will have been spent in vain with nothing to show for it.
Sometimes I really do think that I'm bipolar.
I read that different people have different perceptions of happiness. Some think happiness is contentment, or joy, or the lack of unhappiness. I think my perception of happiness is euphoria. Most of the time, this is like stabbing myself in the face though, because it seems impossible to be in a constant, or near-constant state of euphoria. (Though I suppose it doesn't hurt to try.)
I equate happiness also in some part to energy. (This is where my bipolar theory really starts to play in) During my phases of euphoria, I literally have the energy and capability to do anything and not tire. This usually means I do all the drab things like clean and study and organize AND (MIRACLE OF ALL MIRACLES)ACTUALLY HAVE FUN WHILST DOING IT!?! This is going to be cheesy, but in Harry Potter there is this elixir that influences your luck. I have forgotten the name, please don't shun me into joining the twilight generation. We'll just call it the perpetual win potion. Anyway, cheesy, but sometimes I feel like being happy is like having the perpetual win potion. I have so much energy, and so much personality that I literally feel even having the ability to be unhappy or feel inadequate has such a small potential to occur that it's almost a joke.
In fact, my preference for this version of myself is so great, that sometimes, in situations of discomfort, I defer to her by thinking "Would perpetual-win-Aditi be happy with this when she shows up?'. I treat her as almost a separate identity. (I guess this makes me schizo as well? OR PARANOID)
The happier I am, the less inclined I am to feel the need to write about it. In fact, I treat happiness like a rare, fleeting thing and devour it as though each time is the very last and if I don't pack as much productivity into each happiness window, it will have been spent in vain with nothing to show for it.
Sometimes I really do think that I'm bipolar.
I read that different people have different perceptions of happiness. Some think happiness is contentment, or joy, or the lack of unhappiness. I think my perception of happiness is euphoria. Most of the time, this is like stabbing myself in the face though, because it seems impossible to be in a constant, or near-constant state of euphoria. (Though I suppose it doesn't hurt to try.)
I equate happiness also in some part to energy. (This is where my bipolar theory really starts to play in) During my phases of euphoria, I literally have the energy and capability to do anything and not tire. This usually means I do all the drab things like clean and study and organize AND (MIRACLE OF ALL MIRACLES)ACTUALLY HAVE FUN WHILST DOING IT!?! This is going to be cheesy, but in Harry Potter there is this elixir that influences your luck. I have forgotten the name, please don't shun me into joining the twilight generation. We'll just call it the perpetual win potion. Anyway, cheesy, but sometimes I feel like being happy is like having the perpetual win potion. I have so much energy, and so much personality that I literally feel even having the ability to be unhappy or feel inadequate has such a small potential to occur that it's almost a joke.
In fact, my preference for this version of myself is so great, that sometimes, in situations of discomfort, I defer to her by thinking "Would perpetual-win-Aditi be happy with this when she shows up?'. I treat her as almost a separate identity. (I guess this makes me schizo as well? OR PARANOID)
