I spend a lot of my time dreaming. I aspire, envision, picture and replay moments in all of my free time. If I spent a fraction of that time studying, I would probably be catapulted to overnight biostatistics all-star status.
There are a plethora of thoughts that I would never have to courage to say outloud, for fear that they would insubstantiate, and taint my dreams with the reality that my motivation and inspiration became entombed in just words of intention. That I failed to make those nurtured visions happen. I've done this since I was a child, keeping secrets and telling myself that if I confided them, it would nix the chances of them ever happening. Jinxed.
Remember when we would wish on eyelashes? or candles on a birthday cake? If you told your wish, it wouldn't come true.
I was an over obedient child, I took the guidelines of those cute cultural traditions and pedestalized them without the slightest inkling of how deeply it would stunt me later. I still have trouble stating my aspirations clearly.
Chances are, the more I want it, the less likely I am to say it.
