so, about ten minutes ago I found myself smiling at my economics textbook.
smiling is actually an understatement, I was beaming at that thing as if it was a chocolate mouthgasm.
WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH ME? I hate my economics textbook, I want to soak it in water and glue and make paper mache jewellery out of it so it can be some form of useful to me.
So I stopped for a minute and I started rationalizing. Is it because I've been sick and on meds? Maybe I'm dehydrated? Am I distracted? What music is playing? OMG IS IT BECAUSE OF THE DAMN PEANUT BUTTER?...
that went on for a couple minutes while the actual functioning part of my brain kicked in.
Its because my stubborn friend finally caved to john mayer.
Its because I painted my nails with tpandey and talked about love. (and then eventually tried to help her pick the lock to her room and talk to smartboys-who-live-down-the-hall)
Its because I got to watch the sunset from my window and it tinted the giant beer billboard red.
Its because yesterday night I had a CAPSLOCK convo and was introduced to amazing music.
Its because my best friend threw a possessive hissy fit over a facebook wall post.
Its because I've gotten multiple text messages from a crayola-aficionado.
Its because I don't have to be emotionally attatched to and disappointed by every person who is the slightest bit nice to me.
Its because I remembered last weekend and how many things went wrong, and then I remembered the supportive amazing friends who literally helped me get back up.
Its because today I looked at pictures from my summer and for the first time, there was no twitch of nervousness, the people around me didn't physically cringe as I stubbornly flicked through a thousand pictures of a past relationship and teared up.
Its because of a random group of unrelated and otherwise insignificant things that seemed unremarkable when they were happening. =)
So thissss is what acceptance feels like. I hope it lasts. It feels pretty damn good.
So thank you Parth, for the best text message I've ever gotten. =)
Pretend I responded with "In Your Atmosphere <3"
