I have a really low tolerance for people who judge other people based on their body size.
And maybe this is insensitive of me because I don't know what its like to be under constant body pressure. But I do know what it's like to be judged and if I could, I would carry around giant buttery muffins to conspicuously stuff in my face every time I hear a snide comment about my size.
When he introduces me to people I want him to say "This girl here, I have known her a while."
"I have loved her the most but also liked her the least and pushed her the hardest and hurt her the deepest"
"But let me tell you this..this girl right here..she will be the biggest girl you ever know"
And then they will squint at me and and eye my tiny dark elbows and knock knock knocking knees
And write me off as a skinny bitch because they could never believe
That I could be large, or take up some space in a room.
So the spitefuls, the catty, they're quick to assume
'Yeah that skinny bitch, I bet all she eats is 2 lettuce pieces a day.'
'And she wakes up in sweats when she can't count all 12 of her ribs'
'Oh she must work so hard to keep her body so frail
proud of the veins that pop from the side of her neck when she inhales and exhales.'
'I bet she's more fat than she really appears'
'She must burn off her calories in throw up and tears'
And they whisper these things, because they think I'm like them.
That I need my body to be weak so my head can feel strong.
That I've been trained to abstain from gorging my brain
Like my mind is defined by the flesh on my spine.
But my worth shouldn't be whittled to just the width of my waist.
I'm top heavy, my heads stuffed with smarts and dreams interlaced.
I won't let my brain be the chain that shackles my limbs.
I won't let my body be trapped because my thoughts are too slim.
My jean size disguises how big one small girl can be.
Narrow in the hips doesn't mean narrow in the mind.
And maybe this is insensitive of me because I don't know what its like to be under constant body pressure. But I do know what it's like to be judged and if I could, I would carry around giant buttery muffins to conspicuously stuff in my face every time I hear a snide comment about my size.
When he introduces me to people I want him to say "This girl here, I have known her a while."
"I have loved her the most but also liked her the least and pushed her the hardest and hurt her the deepest"
"But let me tell you this..this girl right here..she will be the biggest girl you ever know"
And then they will squint at me and and eye my tiny dark elbows and knock knock knocking knees
And write me off as a skinny bitch because they could never believe
That I could be large, or take up some space in a room.
So the spitefuls, the catty, they're quick to assume
'Yeah that skinny bitch, I bet all she eats is 2 lettuce pieces a day.'
'And she wakes up in sweats when she can't count all 12 of her ribs'
'Oh she must work so hard to keep her body so frail
proud of the veins that pop from the side of her neck when she inhales and exhales.'
'I bet she's more fat than she really appears'
'She must burn off her calories in throw up and tears'
And they whisper these things, because they think I'm like them.
That I need my body to be weak so my head can feel strong.
That I've been trained to abstain from gorging my brain
Like my mind is defined by the flesh on my spine.
But my worth shouldn't be whittled to just the width of my waist.
I'm top heavy, my heads stuffed with smarts and dreams interlaced.
I won't let my brain be the chain that shackles my limbs.
I won't let my body be trapped because my thoughts are too slim.
My jean size disguises how big one small girl can be.
Narrow in the hips doesn't mean narrow in the mind.
